Queísmo na redação jurídica infantiliza a peça
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Sabem uma coisa que eu acho terrível, que realmente me incomoda?
É uma peça com frases cheias de “quês”, um perto do outro (o chamado “queísmo”).
Leiam a seguinte frase:
“A apelante disse que é nula a sentença por falta de fundamentação e que a apelada, que foi revel, é responsável pelo vício que está presente no acordo que efetuou com o banco”.
Notaram como a construção está ruim?
Como o monte de “quês” tornou o texto de queísmo e infantilizado?
Tenho até a impressão de que se eu abrir agora o caderno do meu filho, que está no 4º ano, vou encontrar frases, quanto à forma, parecidas com essa.
Hoje vou dar umas dicas bem bacanas para resolver problemas de “queísmo” nas peças de vocês.
▪️A primeira dica é substituir o “que” por “o(s) qual(is)”, “a(s) qual(is)”.
A substituição é possível quando se tratar de oração explicativa.
▪️A segunda dica é dividir o período, fazendo, se preciso, adaptações no texto.
Assim, em vez de escreverem “o autor afirma que… e que não há”, vocês podem escrever “o autor afirma que… . Sustenta, ainda, a ausência…”.
▪️A terceira dica é usar verbo no infinitivo ou uma forma adjetivada.
Em vez de “o autor disse que o réu é”, escrevam “o autor disse ser o réu”; em vez de “réu que interpôs apelação”, “réu apelante”.
Aplicando-se essas dicas naquela frase que apresentei inicialmente, vejam como a construção fica mil vezes melhor:
⠀
⠀“A apelante disse ser nula a sentença por falta de fundamentação.
Afirmou, ainda, que a apelada, a qual foi revel, é responsável pelo vício no acordo efetuado com o banco”.
⠀
⠀Percebam que, a rigor, eu nem precisaria substituir o “disse que é nula” por “disse ser nula”, pois se mantido aquele “que” ele ficaria distante do outro, descaracterizando o “queísmo”. Só fiz a substituição para vocês verem que ela é possível.
▪️Outra dica legal é simplesmente omitir o “que”, quando a omissão, claro, for possível.
Observem:
“O agravante alegou que a decisão é extra petita, QUE é nula por não estar fundamentada e também que há litispendência em relação à agravada Mônica Soares”.
⠀
⠀O “que” em destaque pode e deve ser excluído; mas os outros não.
Era isso.
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